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Being an adult is mainly drinking coffee and pretending to be productive.
I like restaurants because the people have to be nice and feed you.
Lake Superior really needs to lose the attitude.
It saddens me to say that after tasting this homemade whiskey/nacho cheese ice cream, I’ve found not all dreams are meant to be followed.
Every day can be palm Sunday if you`re a single guy
Somedays I feel like running away. Then I remember how much I hate running.
if its got tits you will get nothing but trouble !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
With Halo 4, Black Ops II and Assasins Creed III, I think November might register the lowest teen pregnancy rates in a long time!
Jack The Ripper would be a great name for a fitness trainer.
I`m off to get my beauty sleep. Yeah, I know...I`m already so beautiful you can`t stand it! I promise...a little more isn`t lethal...yet! ;) Goodnight!
Why do they leave folding chairs so close to the wrestling ring? Shouldn’t the maintenance staff have learned their lesson by now?
Paintball is much more fun when the other people at Walmart don’t know we are playing.
Why is it called a menstrual calendar and not a flow chart?
"I love you unconditionally*." -God *certain terms and conditions apply. See Bible for more details.
Only 3 more days until millions of people join the gym for a week.