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The phrase “Don’t take this the wrong way.” has a zero percent success rate.
I hate it when I mean to buy seedless grapes but instead I accidentally get...well you know...Oreos.
When a woman says, "I`m NOT crazy" *clapping her palms together per syllable* That`s universal for, "You`re going to die."
When all else fails… Pizza & Beer.
So I was thinking... We should get drunk and make bad decisions.
I broke my finger today. But on the other hand I`m fine.
So far, I am 100% at believing what happened next on Facebook links.
Shout out to people who are hard of hearing.
"If your father asks you to pick up 5 large bags of ice, the best place to put them is in the backyard in direct sun" ~ My son apparently
I`ll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, before I will go out to buy new ones
How can there be more horses asses than there are horses?
Finally got my sh!t together... Now if I can just remember where I put it
I love the phrase "boobie trapped" I mean, who doesn`t like to be trapped by boobies????
Love is... saving money to buy her shoes!
"User Friendly" is just another way of saying stupid.......