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If it weren’t for law enforcement and physics, I would be unstoppable.
I FINALLY "friended" my girlfriend on Facebook.. You know.. So I could get updates on our relationship status.. :|
A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When i quized him on it, he reckoned he could stop aaaany time . . . .
I`d say I`m not a morning person but I`m really not sure I`m an evening person either.
I`m only a morning person on December 25th
There`s never been a single day in my life when I thought to myself " thank god the cops are here"
If I ever only have 3 months to live, I want my ex wife to be with me. That would be the longest 3 months of my life.
Life would be more simple if the person who named the orange an orange would have named more things. ;) Just Sayin`
A simpler, more believable theory is that all the dinosaurs got married and just quit having sex all together.
About to stick a pin in your voodoo doll.... Brace yourself.
I went to the doctor for a check up and he says I`m going to live. But I think he`s wrong and it`s just a matter of time.
People would probably piss me off a lot less if I was allowed to drive a tank.
AWESOME!
If I ever get to an age where the music from the ice cream truck doesn`t make me excited, pull the plug.
If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that it doesn`t let you skip.