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I drive everywhere but for some reason my shoes still wear out, it’s like there’s just no reward for laziness.
Met a girl for a first date and quickly found out that her version of "Do you want to go downtown?" is vastly different than mine.
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of the plane...
Just saw the little boy next door licking whip cream off the cat. Pretty sure he heard something he shouldn`t have.
You are intriguing. You require further stalking, sorry I mean investigation.
I don`t think its a coincidence that "Sober" and "So bored" sound very much alike
There are 7 trillion nerves in the human body. Some people are capable of getting on every last one of them.
If you don`t leave a buffet looking like someone told you bad news you didn`t get your money`s worth.
Part of being sane is being a little bit crazy.
Mom in poetic mood ....Asked me to express emptiness .... I showed her my wallet ........ n m cheek still burns .... :-p :-p
I`ve noticed that the squirrels are gathering nuts for the winter. Couple of my friends are missing...
MY MISSION IS COMPLETE!!! I have successfully wasted a little bit of your time today :) carry on!
Coffee shops should have a separate line for people who are late for work.
It`s kind of creepy that you noticed me staring at you.
You know how we smack your household appliances when they`re malfunctioning and it makes them work? I wish you could do that with people.