Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
In the morning instead of having coffee and reading my horoscope, I have coffee and unfriend anyone who posts their horoscope.
Thinking of getting another kitchen table just for all my mail
We all have that friend who acts innocent but understands all the dirty jokes.
Nothing embarrasses psychics more than throwing them a surprise birthday party.
Ways to die: Steal my food.
Two heads aren`t better than one if you`re both stupid.
The funny moment when a fat kid says "that`s how I roll".
Why is it never opportunity that`s knocking? Instead, it`s usually cops with a warrant...
Scent is the sense most tied to memory. "Common" is the sense least tied to people.
This could be the best day ever… but it isn’t. Again.
you know you have a kid personality when you think step brothers is the greatest movie ever.
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don’t know. Inspirational statuses are hard.
I paid My 11 year old $10 to do the dishes, then on her way to the bathroom I mugged her...because, you know, life lesson.
Friday Night Inspirational Message: You miss 100% of the shots you don`t drink.
I`m so poor I went to the ducks today to beg for bread...