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The most common name In China is Chang, correct me if you think it’s Wong.
I think all priuses are gay transformers living here on earth
Don`t be sad laundry, nobody`s doing me either.
I think about hiring a maid way too often for someone who has plenty of time to clean.
I hate it when my kid starts crying in the middle of the night and I have to get up to close the bedroom door.
In my experience, the quickest way to escape Jury Duty? As they read out the charges, yell out, "Oh c`mon...even I`ve done THAT!"
Any time that I see someone wearing crocs, I assume they lost a bet.
Tomorrow is Valentines day, a holiday that comes along once a year to remind you that if you don`t have a special someone...I guess your alone.
When I`m bored, I send a random text to a random number saying "I hid the body... now what?"
I have difficulty sleeping at night because I lay awake obsessing over life`s mysteries, like how exactly does paper beat rock.
My bank lets me send a text message and it will text back with my balance. Its a cool feature but I didn`t think the LOL was necessary.
I don`t have any skeletons in my closet because I bury my victims in the backyard!
"Has anybody ever seen a chicken fly? No? Good, there`s nothing wrong with ya"
I am sweet, lovable, kind, shy, and innocent ... Oh, for heaven`s sake! Stop laughing!
There should be a mercy rule for how many pics a girl can upload from her vacation.