Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wish the "Do not ask me again" option existed in real life.
Say what you want about Kim and Kanye naming their daughter North West. That kid is headed straight to the top. And slightly to the left.
I know you think you´re interesting because you have an accent. But a drunken slur is not an accent.
IM LOST! I`ve gone to look for my self. If u see me, tell me to wait here till I get back.
Walked into the kitchen for orange juice; walk out with sandwich, crackers, chocolate milk, and the TV remote I lost 30 minutes ago
So much for the saying, 3rd times a charm, I just checked my Mega Millions ticket for the 3rd time, and still nothing.
In Hell, you cannot peel off the colors on a Rubik`s Cube to solve it
If things always went according to a plan…. life wouldn’t be interesting.
I need professional help. A chef and a butler will do just fine.
My dog reminds me of my ex. She doesn`t pull her weight financially and she`s scared of the vacuum.
Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
Stop waiting for the perfect moment. Take a moment and make that sh!t perfect.
I don’t have nightmares... I create them for others ;-)
roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poems.. you have nice boobs
Apple is looking to expand its market share among Latinos. No word yet on the release date of their newest device, the iCaramba.