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As you Mature... you learn that you cannot make someone love you.. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in..
They say love is more important than money. I`d like to see them go and try to pay their bills with a hug.
I think on December 21 all the power companies should shut off the power for like 10 minutes just to make people flip out.
Urban Dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions.
Benefits of dating me: 1. You`re the smart one
I will write something profound ... subsoil!
Whenever I weigh myself, I always subtract 10 pounds. I don`t think boobs, brains, and an ass this fabulous should count against me.
I found out that middle age is were you finally get your head together and then your body starts falling apart
One of the best uses I`ve ever found for invisible ink is when I signed my marriage license with it.
I thought she would duck officer- me checking the psychic`s ability
Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take, I`ll be watching you. - Dog
You can lead a horse to water but I`d rather ride it to the liquor store.
I don`t think we appreciate this era enough. For instance, none of us will see old photos of our moms whoring it up on Instagram.
My number was 0...
Being all talk and no action sounds relaxing.