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I carved my name in a fruitcake in 1982. If anyone gets it this year, post a pic!
Life is basically trying to meet better people than the ones you currently know.
I try to get in at least 30 minutes of talking about exercise every day.
Dang girl,, Are you a Snickers bar? Because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly long lasting,, hold up,,,, are those nuts?
Commercials led me to believe that changing shampoos would have a much bigger effect on my life.
Did you ever notice how a woman’s “I’ll be ready in 5min” and a guys “I’ll be home in 5min” are one and the same?
i don`t know what to say on your comment so i just hit "like" so you won`t be upset that ignored you.
There was a glorious time, before social media, when you would just lose touch with people.
No thermostat is as effective at regulating temperature as sticking a foot out from under the bed covers.
My new year`s resolution is that donuts have no calories.
Sometimes, the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot.
Whenever I hear someone say “STOP” my brain says “Hammer Time”
I always get this dream where I`m driving in reverse ...Then I wake up and see that I`m driving normally.
Back before Walmart, you used to have to buy a ticket to see a bearded woman.
There`s a thin line between "I should write a status about that" and "I should talk to my therapist about that"....