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Today: I`m going to be understanding, productive, and nice. WHAT? Stop laughing! I`m serious!
FYI fellas: if you wake up with some chick and you can`t remember her name, take her to Starbucks. They`ll write her name on the cup for ya!!!
According to Facebook, some people I don`t remember are grilling this weekend.
Days are short in December but spending them with family really stretches them out.
Make sure your goals are unattainable so you`ll feel a little better about giving up later
Don’t ask me again” is my favorite computer button that I wish was also a real life button.
Dogs love you even if you’re ugly.
I wonder how much a zebra would cost if you scan it…
That moment when you wake up at 2 o`clock a.m and remember how crappy that after earth movie was and you go back to sleep immediately
My mom likes playing this game called `yell from four rooms away and get upset when I can`t hear her`.
I consider "Not Dishwasher Safe" to be more of a challenge than a warning.
I`m not opposed to manscaping, but I don`t see the point of cutting the grass until somebody takes interest in the property.
Getting told I can`t do something gives me all the motivation I need to get things done.
It truly bothers me how many people would marry someone just for their money. Because I`m trying to do that & you`re lowering my chances.
Sorry I shouted "MORTAL KOMBAT!" when you started arguing with your husband at the grocery store