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I’m shy at first, but once I’m comfortable with you get ready for some crazy sh!t.
Sometimes I feel bad about the things I say and do, but today is not one of those days.
Million dollar idea: Pills that you can take with alcohol.
Helpful Tip: Always remember to speak clearly when complimenting a woman`s boots...
Why does `beans` only mean secret when it`s "Don`t spill the beans?" Why can`t I say I have a dirty little beans to tell you?
I don’t need a reason to do stupid things, just a venue.
When I become famous I`m not going to tell anyone.
"Go left at the chopsticks in the road" - Chinese directions
I found a real money maker in selling homing pigeons....... So far this month I sold mine 4 times.
It`s so awkward when you get texted to come over and you have to pretend like you weren`t already inside their house.
If stress burned calories, I’d be a super model.
Rest area restrooms are weird. The guy in stall next to me has four feet.
Netflix basically has every movie, except for the ones I actually want to watch.
To avoid being eaten by zombies, go to Settings / Home Invasion Settings / Cannibalism / Brains, and then uncheck the "tasty" box.
i dont have drain bramage.