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"F@ck It" has gotten me through a lot of situations.
I`m not lazy I just really enjoy doing nothing!!
In light of recent events, I have no choice but to deduct a full star from my Yelp review of Earth.
When I see people drinking at 11 am on a Friday I`m like, where do you work and are they hiring?
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
My bank account is more like a countdown to my homelessness
May the bridges I burn light the way.
Wait till the people so excited about all-day breakfast at McDonald`s find out they can make breakfast at home whenever they want.
I just realised that sex is like air..its not important unless you are not getting any.
Apparently, I just ate 39 servings of Tic - Tacs.
Where have you been all my life? Can you go back there?
I`m the opposite of psychic. I don`t even know what I`m thinking! ;)
Bulimia: Twice the taste. Zero Calories.
I don`t need your advice. I do a great job of screwing up my life all by myself, thank you!
Birds do it. Bees do it. Heck, even fleas do it. Let`s do it! Let`s live in a homeless man`s beard!