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My superpower is making people laugh ... Which would be great if I was trying to be funny
Remember they’re just as afraid of seeing you dance as you are of dancing.
My 14 year old sent a text asking me to pick her up from school and added "not in your pajamas". So I`m wearing hers because good moms listen.
Scientists discover that caterpillars can whistle. Am I the only one wondering if they`re concentrating their efforts on the wrong things?
If everything goes as planned, tonight I shall drink myself beautiful.
Relationships would be easier if people came with a “Clear History” button.
If I ever get real rich, I hope I`m not mean to poor people, like I am now.
You will never find the right person, if you do not let go of the wrong one. Call me!
Cashier: Would you like your milk in a bag? Me: No, let`s just keep it in the carton, ok?
The New iPhone 7 is coming out in August. If you want a sneak peek of the new iPhone. Take a look at your current iPhone and pretend it cost 200 dollars more.
Lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake.
If ANY of my posts have made even one person’s day better, then there’s something seriously wrong with that person
Karma means I can rest easy at night knowing all the people I treated badly had it coming.
Personal trainer said we`re going to try some dips today. I brought hot salsa and tangy cheese...He hates me.
I lifted my hands up in the air and waved them like I just didn`t care.....Ceiling fan: 6 Me: 0