Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Age sure does change your perspective. Lots of things I hated when I was a kid I love now... like having nothing to do, going to bed early, watching the news, spankings.... stuff like that.
Nothing says “I hate you” like giving someone’s child a drum set.
Care less and you’ll stress less.
You are intriguing. You require further stalking, sorry I mean investigation.
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I’m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
There are other things in life besides sex and alcohol. Those other things all suck, but they do exist, I assume.
I guess not everyone at this grocery store is as comfortable with my nudity as I am. ;)
I`m working harder than an ugly stripper!!
If spiders ever come to the realization that people are terrified of them, we`re f*cked.
I feel so lazy.. Lazy as the guy who created the Japanese flag
Mary Had a Little Lamb, Little Lamb, Little Lamb. Maybe she wasn`t that hungry.
Even if you don`t pay, they`ll usually let you go through a car wash at least once a day without a car.
I can paint the house and buy new furniture and my kids won`t notice, but, buy a new phone case...
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because your fingerprints aren’t in the database.
iTunes got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.