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There`s no better reminder to visit your dentist than a trip to Walmart.
For those of you wondering what it`s like to be married, I`m on day 3 of an argument I didn`t know I was having.
My friend wants to know if you think Iām hot.
Iron man is a super hero, Iron woman is a command.
I want a firsthand test of the "mo money, mo problems" hypothesis.
I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyone`s ok with that.
Hey dumb a$$. Not everything I post pertains to you. Just the stuff that starts with Hey dumb a$$.
Whoever said, "All men are created equal", obviously has never received any d!ck pics
North Korea no!, really, go home! now you are really drunk!
A fun thing to do is take a group picture at a party. Then leave & print it at Walgreens. Buy a frame, go back to party, & place it on the mantel at the party.
Worried that you may have a stalker? Shut up and just be happy someone likes you.
*Sees my name in a math textbook* class: *stares at me* me: "yeah b!tches I bought 60 watermelons"
If you tickle me, Iām not responsible for your injuries.
I surveyed 100 women on what shampoo they prefer while showering 95% said How the hell did you get in here!!!
Facebook Proves: That if Family had the Option... they`d Delete ya.