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One trenta cheeseburger please.
I wonder how many dads named their sons Luke just so they can say "Luke, I am your father."....
The real trouble with reality is that there´s no background music
Share this if you are weird and don`t care
I swear, if my memory gets any worse I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.
Keep talking; someday you’ll say something intelligent.
I tried stuff once. It was horrible.
Turns out people who say they love hot sauce on anything are liars. In other news, I`ve recently been banned from making the classroom coffee.
I need professional help. A chef and a butler will do just fine.
I have no idea what a bejeezus is,,, but apparently mine scares easy.
Life is a constant battle between my love of food & not wanting to get fat.
Nascar would be so more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.
Man, just think how crazy Gollum goes on the 5th day of Christmas.
Surveys say 1 out of every 2 people suck at math. It`s terrible that 80% of the population can`t even do the easiest calculations.
In retrospect, replying "Happy as a serial killer in a skin suit factory", probably wasn`t the best way to respond to my therapist.