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If you need to rush somewhere, carry a fire extinguisher. Nobody will stop a person running with a fire extinguisher.
Well, if you count Elmer Fudd singing "Kill the Wabbit" then yes, I do like opera.
can say whatever the hell I want as my Facebook Status, and nobody will be offended as long as I smile at the end. Example: I hate everybody today :) - LOL
Hell yes, I would love to get stoned to death. Wait, rocks?! What rocks?
I was just chatting with my cat about how being lonely can make a person crazy.
You call it "Blacking Out" I call it a "Surprise Nap"
ah... Crocs the 21st century version of the chastity belt
You know it´s going to be a bad day when your horoscope starts with.. "Are you sitting down?"
I`ve heard that men that are married live longer, but i`ve also heard that men that have sex live longer. Anybody know which one of them is true?
Sneezing is like using sonar to find polite people.
Why do people with the most to say contribute the least?
If you`re behind someone at an ATM at night, let them know you`re not a threat by gently kissing their neck.
A girl phoned me the other day and said “Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home.
You`re one of a kind! Thank goodness...
"Have you ever wondered if the $1 bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper butt? - You`re wondering now!!!"