Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why do TV shows say "May contain nudity"? It either does or doesn`t. Don`t make me watch the entire thing and find out the hard way it doesn`t....
I always stop to help women broke down. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how a good porno starts off!
Just bought myself a mistletoe belt buckle. Wish me luck.
Walmart: the only place on Earth you can get a haircut, eye exam, ice cream sandwich, tires for your car, and witness a real life "what not to wear" episode.
To make a long story short quit right in the middle.
I don`t like people who can`t make fun of themselves. It means more work for me.
How about a T.V. show that just explains the backstory on all of the "For External Use Only" warning labels.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If your parents told you you`re beautiful, they`re lyin to you..:D
As I slid my finger slowly down her G string, I thought to myself "this is a nice guitar"
I`m a crabby a$$ bitch before my coffee ... and after
Wear black: all the non-conformists are doing it.
You’d be amazed how often I’m wrong when people say guess what.
Being in the doghouse isn`t so bad if there`s enough beer in the bowl.
Taken names of employees from various stores and calling in sick for them, just to make it feel like I have a job. . .
Check this one out.........1