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i think lady gaga puts glue on herself, and rolls around random items.
To everybody that is single don`t worry you will have your day ... Palm Sunday is just around the corner
I love how when your watching a crime show and they have to tell you that "this is a reenactment" oh really? you mean you didn`t actually catch the murder on video?
Coffee is nature’s way of saying “Go ahead, get drunk on a weeknight, I got your back!”
It`s been scientifically proven that originally there were only five fruit cakes ever made!
if ever you need NOTHING, im here for you.
One square left on the toilet roll and no extras in the cupboard. Well played, honey. Well played.
sorry abaut the message I sent you last night, my phone was drunk!
A homeless guy asked me for 50 cents for a sandwich. I said, "First let me see the sandwich."
Vaginas are like the weather. When it`s wet, it`s time to go inside.
Having to cash in my State Quarter Collection`s map for gas money is reaching a new low.
I refuse to celebrate Earth Day until Wind & Fire are recognized.
Due to no supervision and sheer lack of self control; I sincerely with GREAT guilt! Here now inform you. I ate your banana split
?"Cheating" is such a strong word. I rather call it "talent scouting".
If we aren`t meant to have late night snacks then why is there a light in the fridge.