Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Always look for the girl with the ponytail holder on her wrist.
NERD WEDDING: Instead of saying “I do.” They say “I accept the terms & conditions.”
I am tired of men complaining about women complaining about men complaining about women
Why do we say "A word to the wise" when it`s the stupid ones who need it?
I wonder how long I’d be on hold if my call wasn’t important to them...
What if God is a woman. Not only will I be going to Hell, but I`ll never hear the end of it.
I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain
A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up along side them and say "I think we lost them."
Fact: If you eat a slice of pizza fast enough, your body won`t understand how many calories are in it.
Testing shows that people in the USA know less about geography than England, Japan and like 100 other countries I`ve never heard of.
Nothing good ever came from drinking things that are on fire.
Men use love to get sex. Women use sex to get love. I use coupons to get pizza.
If we`re in a situation where I am the "voice of reason," then we are in a very very bad situation.
I went to the Dr today with severe headaches .. he asked if I suffered from any memory loss. I said "How the F would I know?"