Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When someone asks if you lost weight, the correct response is always, "no, it just seems like it to you because you got fatter."
I replaced the spare tire in my car with a box of wine. I`ve no idea how to change a tire, & I bet I`ll need a drink as I wait for a ride.
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect already.
The Internet makes things so convenient. Before it existed, if you wanted to order a DVD online, you had to invent the Internet.
I love it when the person’s laugh is funnier than the actual joke.
How did Mexico keep enough people from crossing the border to field a full soccer team?
The new neighbors moved in today. I brought them a box of condoms to show how much I don`t want anymore children living on our street.
Stretch pants are like Wonder Bras for your butt cheeks
No heel is too high when pointed up at the ceiling.
There are two reasons I would never drink toilet water. Number 1 and number 2.
I just found out that all the people who say "You haven`t changed a bit" have been lying to me. :)
Well, all I have to say is TGIF. (Post this on any day but Friday to get comments)
You don`t even want to know the things I have done for a Klondike Bar...
Why are there no owls here? I Was lead to believe there would by owls here. #hooters
Hitting the lotto is a sure way to stop hating on Mondays...