Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So, I bought a wok to cook healthy food and I have to say, these french fries don`t taste any different.
SPOILER ALERT: Rice cakes do not contain any actual cake.
I’m glad you’re learning to laugh at yourself. That was kind of getting awkward for the rest of us.
I love using my GPS, problem is I can`t find it.
I inject vodka right into the orange. Screwdriver-to-go
If women really knew what men think, there would be restraining orders on all men.
I couldn`t help but notice that I would like to have sex with you more frequently!
I`m such a thrill seeker, when I see a ‘Caution, Wet Floor’ sign, I walk faster...
Feeding my kid cold pizza. They will be off to college soon and preparation is the key to success.
Afraid of not getting what you ordered when online shopping…..Ha, try online dating
When people say things like "You can`t change the past" I can`t help but wonder what it must be like to have that brilliant of a mind.
Dogs are great. You can count on them to alert you of danger...Also, children passing by, squirrels and gusts of wind they don`t like.
I`m a nonviolent person until I see a spider. Then I turn into Al Capone and "I want him DEAD! I want his family DEAD! I want his house burned to the GROUND!
If I’m going to sweep all of my problems under the rug, then I’m going to need a bigger rug.
People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world...