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Who says nothing is impossible. I´ve been doing nothing for years.
I only drink alcohol because there aren`t enough ways to eat it.
An apple a day is bullsh!t. Apples are dangerous. Just look at Eve, Snow White, Blackberry or any pig at a luau.
Checked a lot off my thought-about-doing-today list.
Whoever said "Lets do that" in the meeting for the pop-tarts without frosting, should be fired
Parts of a worm: 1) Worm
A golden rule to live by: Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics!
I was told today to look at my life from a different perspective. I`m lying on the floor now and the shit still looks f*cked up.
What`s the nutritional value of an entire tube of cherry Chapstick? Asking for my two year old.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If your parents told you you`re beautiful, they`re lyin to you..:D
Euphoria....the feeling you get when you finally beat "that" level on Candy Crush.
Guys you should never overreact when you hear the words, " The babysitter is late."
Given how enormous the universe is, I assume there’s an alien out there who does a mocking impression of me. Screw you, alien.
DAMN IT!!!!! I just ripped the tag off one of my Beanie Babies! Now it`s worthless!!
What sucks about those little hotel shampoo bottles is there`s no room for the directions so you kind of have to wing it.