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"The more the merrier!" usually means "oh, you overheard us making those plans, huh?"
Work is the result of failing to procrastinate effectively.
Bless me Father for I hit send.
I`ve been running as fast as I can, but I still can`t catch my breath.
My life is like a romantic comedy except there’s no romance and It’s just me laughing at my own jokes.
We are guaranteed "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness". So, why did happiness get a Lamborghini and I got a `74 Pinto?????
If you ever hit rock bottom, bring some beer. I`m almost out.
I need more people like me in my life
If you cannot FACE your problem, then the problem is your FACE.
I went to the missing persons` beurau. No one was there.
Share this if you know someone who is alive today simply because you don`t want to go to prison.
My girlfriend said if this gets 100 thumbs up we`ll try anal. So please don`t vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me.
Common sense is like deodorant....The people who need it most never use it.
Sorry I hung up on you, I didn`t mean to answer the call.
Shouldn`t old people drive faster than everyone else since they have less time left to waste?