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Memories of you make me look forward to alzheimers.
I’m just a man standing in front of a woman, who is standing in front of another man who is in front of another woman in line at Taco Bell.
I don’t like being told what to do unless I’m naked.
I`m convinced that every time a sock goes missing from the dryer, it comes back as an extra tupperware lid.
So....if the cup is only half full....I suggest buying a smaller bra
That awkward moment when the majority of people think your status is stupid.
The first snow of spring is always the most beautiful
If you think human beings have evolved a lot. Look at how much Egyptians worshiped cats. Then go look at Facebook for about 10 minutes.
cavemen were posting on walls before it was cool
I`ll be drinking tell I see Leprechauns tonight.
Trying to understand women is like trying to smell the color 8.
Try Zumba, It`s awesome ... on my way to the emergency room.
To-Do List : Nothing[?]
Going to Colorado this weekend to go ... "Hiking"
Never compliment a lady on her mustache no matter how magnificent it is