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I`ll be taking my time and yours,, thank you....... -- all 80 yr. old drivers
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish my ex wife would die ... That`s as far as I got.
I wasn`t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
The only time my wife will ever scream "DEEPER, DEEPER" is when they are lowering my casket into the ground
Today I learned not all people are appreciative of vetriloquism. Especially my gynecologist.
Women come in two types: batsiht crazy and hot enough to ignore the batsiht crazy…
I was enjoying our conversation, but then I stopped talking and the whole thing got really boring.
If you use the word "gay" to desrcribe something that is "merry or happy" then you`re gay.
All shoes are technically buy one get one free...
Is it so much to ask that everyone who ever wronged me be forced to leave the country and change their identity?
Wish some of my co workers weren`t allowed in the break room... Because that`s who I usually need a break from.
I am proud to say that I have completed the 1st item on my bucket list... I got the bucket
You can`t make everyone happy, so just concentrate on me.
Alarm Clock(n): An evil device invented by Satan to disrupt the peaceful sleep of otherwise happy folks at a predetermined hour.
You’d think the chances of putting in a USB drive wrongside-up would be 50-50, but nope, 90-10.