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Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Kevin.
I like to imagine that braille on random public signs often says: “How did you know this was here?”
You make me have filthy thoughts, and for that I thank you...
Football Logic: Your team won: Celebrate with beers! Your team lost: Better drown my sorrows in some beer.
My life is just one long improvisation.
I go to a gym called Resolutions. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50.
You know you`re non-domesticated when the only reason you finally transfer the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher is so you can gain access to the garbage disposal.
Just saw a commercial for weight gainer pills. Have the people with this "problem" not heard of pizza and alcohol?
drinking while working out...it`s called Bacardio
If one teacher cannot teach every subject, then how come one student is expected to learn all the subjects.
The number of things that are *NOT* rocket science is staggering.
"Woo, I`m on a roll today, baby!" -butter
People says nothing is imposible.. But i do nothing everyday!!
dreams of a better world... where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned
has a drinking problem...I can`t afford it