Daily Silly Status

Bad Morning: As I sit on the throne remembering I used all the toilet paper last night for Halloween pranks.

I wish pillsbury would think of another way to open biscuits without giving you a heart attack ;)

My phone just changed, `calendar` to `cake radar` and now I really wish I had that.

Parts of a worm: 1) Worm

Perhaps we should hold elections on the last Friday of November, with polling stations at Walmart, Target and Apple

John has 35 candy bars. If John eats 27 of them what does he have? .... Diabetes. John has diabetes.

I think...therefore, I am.....single

I`m sorry but, I could not hear you over the sound of my internal hope that you would shut the f*ck up.

Today is opposite day. Wait...if today is opposite day and I say that it is opposite day that means today isn`t opposite day. If it isn`t opposite day then how cAn I say today is opposite dAy? I`m so confused -.-

Sometimes I meet people and feel sorry for their dog.

Imagine if someone`s name was Gurt. You`d be all "yo gurt!" .. funny? no? Ok (._.)

I`m reaching the point where I really hope it`s not possible to be annoyed to death.

I`m not interested in anything that requires 5 hours of energy.

Isn’t it funny how people that talk too much also have annoying voices?

Alarm clocks should come with sounds like "tiny doll feet scampering into the closet" because I am not hitting snooze when I hear that.