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Business Plan: 1. Hold sign that says "Free Hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it`s $50 to let go"
Light travels faster than sound.. That is why some people appear bright until they speak.
If your camel toe looks like a elephants hoof, you might want to rethink the yoga pants.
When sliding down the banister of life, always make sure that the end is knob free!
I have over 500 facebook friends, and i want to say that i love you all...except for number 376 ..you`re a real a@@hole!!
Turning on your lights and siren after you lose a drag race is just poor sportsmanship.
whoo hoo...I have new gutters. Please try and keep your mind out of them.
A graham cracker is just a white dude selling coke in the ghetto.
Hello...
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don`t have to be nice anymore.
I`m so pissed right now! I`m about to open a can of... Wait…WTF??!! Since when did they start putting child-proof lids on the cans of whoop-ass? A little help please...
It`s damn funny when a wife think`s she`s punishing her husband by not talking to him for days..
My favorite beer is the 15th one.
I like to walk by a chick in slow motion so she thinks i`m the one
A sure cure for sea-sickness is to sit under a tree.