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I`m a spontaneous procrastinator
I didn`t get a chance to do yoga this morning or any other morning of my life.
The worlds gonna end in 5 days & I don`t know what I`m gonna wear.
The only thing worse than dramatic girls facebook statuses…dramatic guys Facebook statuses.
It`s amazing how we are very good lawyers for our own mistakes and very good Judges for other people`s mistakes.
Dark humor is like sex, not everybody always gets it.
Bipolar smile :(: ...... Gets um everytime !
Rap Music is like Scissors…It always loses to Rock.
"Truth or dare" should be renamed to "Interrogation or Humiliation"
Is anyone going to tell America`s funniest videos about YouTube?
Just shaved my legs for the first time since October...just kidding, it`s not warm enough for that yet.
A bird in the hand is the best way to eat chicken.
Did you know you can go to any gym without having to announce it on Facebook?
Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think "look at all these poor people who don`t know Netflix exists."
People always say, "You can`t have your cake and eat it too." I say, "Of course you can. Just make two cakes!"