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ah Saturday, where it`s socially acceptable to drink in the morning. ;)
How to make a Vodka Christmas cake. . (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to
Roses are red, dead ones are black, why is your chest as flat as your back?
I get you, anti-evolution people. I`m too lazy to learn science too.
The best part about a vacation to England is that my wife won`t need to adjust her driving.
Nothing shall separate me from the love of beer...
I knew I`d be a great parent. Kids aren`t nearly as difficult to take care of as my drunk friends.
I get very nervous out when my Subway sandwich moves up the crowded assembly line without me.
The phrase "Don`t take this the wrong way." has a zero percent success rate.
Is there a phobia for leaving the house when your phone isn`t fully charged? There should be.
Dear Customer Service: First of all, you should know that I´m typing this with my middle finger.
Sometimes I meet people and feel sorry for their dog.
There is 1 mosquito in my apartment. I have 50 bullets. Let`s dance.
The only b word you should call a woman is beautiful. B!tches love to be called beautiful.
Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for — in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.