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Its never polite to ask the guy at the next table "are you done with that?" Especially when he`s breaking up with his girlfriend.
We had a power outage last week and my PC, TV and games console shut down immediately, so I had to talk to my family for a few hours. They seem like nice people.
Subway is the only place I can walk in and ask for a 12 inch Italian and not feel like a slut.
I know you seen me continuously push the "close doors" button while you ran to the elevator. Now it`s just awkward
Ya know once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it´s hard to get it back in.
Don`t talk to me about hard times. My dog just licked the last piece of pizza.
Why is it that most nudists are people you don`t want to see naked?
The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake it then you`ve got it made!
It is possible to stay in your room all day and be perfectly happy.
Wow bro, that pot leaf tattoo on your neck really makes the colors of your Burger King uniform pop.
I’ve finally decided to do something about my weight ... Lie.
Pregnancy test confirmed me my worst fear.......I`m just fat
I’m trisexual, as in, I’ll try to have sex with you.
Sometimes saying "F*ck it" is the best decision.
Ever wonder if we`re just a reality TV show for a more intelligent species?