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I`m sticking to my guns ... I really should have washed my hands after I ate.
Ugly people who live in glass houses…shouldn`t live in glass houses.
I’m still waiting for the episode of Storage Wars where there’s a homeless guy living in the unit.
It only takes 2 ingredients to make a baby. Does that not blow your mind. Like at least there should be some flour or something.
Why was the cat in the bag in the first place?
I need a new refrigerator ... There`s no food in mine.
Imagine being naked in a room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you. That is the life of a dog.
Zombies and I have a lot in common; we both walk around aimlessly looking for something to eat.
My problem? Smart phones are too smart.
You know you`re poor when you sneak into Sam`s Club with some random family just to eat samples for lunch. Yay... Christmas
If you like to make love while listening to music, always choose a live album. ..That way you`ll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes. :)
I think it’s pretty cool how Chinese people made a language made entirely out of tattoos.
Sitting in traffic like the non-helicopter owning loser that I am.
I would of read and liked your status if it wasn`t like 3 pages long.
A guy had his whole left side torn off, the doctor said he`s all right.