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I may not have the best parenting skills; but, in my defense, my kids don`t have the best childing skills, either.
Before we start this relationship, I am going to need you to explain a few pics in your Facebook albums.
My friend sent his wedding invitation from Facebook Event. I sent him a gift from Farmville.
I’m pretty busy today, so if you could just go ahead and offend yourself for me that would be great. Thanks!
keep scrolling… it gets better lol
You could`ve told me that wasn`t your real name before I got the tattoo.
I could write an entire book on excuses... but I have to drop my dog off at the airport.
A recent survey has shown that 50% of all newlyweds want to try anal sex. Or to put it another way, 100% of grooms.
Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets???
$10 says some idiot is gonna hear the word Ebola and think "that`d be a great name for my new baby!"
Cats have tails so you can swing them around. Duh.
Had a bad mixup at the store today. Cashier said strip down facing me. Apparently she meant my credit card.
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
I`m more indecisive than a John in a brothel with gold credit card.
The saying, "Say no to drugs" has always made me laugh. If you`re talking to drugs, it`s probably too late to say no to them.