Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Of course I’ll buy a polished rock made into a necklace. I’m on vacation, aren’t I?
If by crunches you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes I do crunches.
I don`t care what people think of me. It can`t be half as bad as what I think of them...
Its around this time each year that i just enjoy going outside and seeing my christmas lights already set up from the year before.
make little things count. teach midgets math.
I wonder how many messengers were killed before they came up with the saying.
I woke up with a headache this morning but she went to work.
People who say watching golf on TV is boring have obviously never listened to golf on the radio
It`s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager.
I hate it when people radiotype us blondes as dumb.
Congratulations India on successfully orbiting a probe around Mars. I assume you`ll be opening call centers on the red planet and using fake Martian names now?
Marriage. Because your sh*tty day doesn`t have to end at work
The best part of an argument is the make up sex...unless you`re fighting with your brother.
Sleep is like a time machine to breakfast.
"I love you unconditionally*." -God *certain terms and conditions apply. See Bible for more details.