Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Transformation Tuesday! Throwback Thursday! Flashback Friday! Never underestimate a woman`s ability to find a reason to post a selfie.
A zip line but from the sofa to the fridge
I´m the kind of person that when my feet hit the ground each morning the devil says, "OH CRAP, HE´S UP"!
Keep calm and drink on.
Wanna screw with your idiot friends on Facebook? Post that Obama passed a law to stay in office a third term this morning. Praise Jesus.
I`m starting group meetings at my house for people who have OCD, not because I have it, but surely one of them will be bothered enough to clean it.
If you stop at a yellow light I`m going to assume you have something illegal in your car.
The officer said, "you drinking?" I said, "you buying?" then we both laughed and laughed... And now I need bail money.
If I suddenly had the ability to teleport, I’d spend an entire day popping up naked in front of people and asking for John Connor.
If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you’re probably holding the taser wrong.
It`s frustrating to know, I`ll never experience the exhilaration of getting to meet me.
I AM doing something with my life. It’s called screwing around.
No one has ever been in an empty room.
I don`t even understand Fantasy Football. There are no Dragons, Wizards, or hot ass Elven chicks. I call bullsh!t.
The best way to hang up on someone is to do it in the middle of your own sentence, that way they will just think you lost service.