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I propose we change the names of the upper case P and lower case p to "P standing up" and "p sitting down."
Make somebody happy today... mind your own business!!!
LIFE TIP: The early worm gets dismembered, and eaten alive!
I heard someone say their podcast was on "hiatus", guess that sounds better than "my mom took away my laptop".
Attn Single people: If marriage was so great, there would be 6 people on the internet right now.
I have no fear of heights. I do, however have a fear of falling from heights.
Music that is meant to be played at a reasonable volume is completely pointless.
Hey Journey, I stopped believing. What now?
Well, I`m really not sure what my spirt animal is but I`m sure it looks like road kill right about now.
Sometimes, I wonder if the weather app on my phone even looks outside.
There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note “Don’t eat me”.Now there’s an empty plate and a note “Don’t tell me what to do”
I hope the final frame of Breaking Bad is white text on black background: "None of this would have happened if we had Universal Healthcare."
Even though I`m only 29, I know I`m going to die a bitter, lonely, miserable old man ... I`m married.
Once you have to start paying a babysitter every time you go out, you realize most friendships aren`t worth it.
If history has taught us anything, it`s that reheated french fries are gross.