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Does this green St Patrick`s Day beer count as a vegetable.
Karate is just a violent way of making people smell your feet.
It`s crazy that your brain can calculate where to put your hand to catch a 98 mph fastball... But won`t keep your mouth shut when a woman is angry
You know you`re addicted to your iphone when you start using your fingers to zoom into things on your laptop computer. Or a printed photo. Or a book. Or your watch.
I pretend I don`t care but deep down I really still don`t care.
When will vegeterians stop eating my food`s food??
Sometimes I get shivers in my spine just thinking about how much tougher Popeye would`ve been if he`d eaten fresh spinach instead of canned.
My Dr said I am a sex addict. I ask him how he knew and he said you are a man.
Life`s too short for Salad..............
Sometimes, when I "like" your post, it`s because my touchscreen is too sensitive and I only meant to scroll by your ass. Sometimes. ;)
Relationship Tip for men: When a woman says, "Correct me if I`m wrong but...."Don`t do it!! It`s a trap!! DO NOT, I repeat, do not correct that woman!!!
The good thing about listening to a new song is that it doesn’t remind you of anyone.
People without kids: I`ll never yell at my kids ... People with kids: I DONT KNOW WHY SOMEONE SPIT THEIR GUM ON THE ROAD, JUST WALK!
I bet kangaroos get drunk and find some ridiculous shit in their pouches in the morning.
If you love something,, let it go..... That`s EXACTLY what I`ve done with my body....