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Iām single by choice. Not my choice, but still a choice!
My hair only looks good on days when no one important sees it.
My 6 yo just chugged a bottle of water in 30 seconds. Now I`m fearful of her college days.
I`ll tell you what a woman wants. She wants you to drag her to the bedroom, toss her down, and do the dishes and laundry while she takes a nap.
We had a power outage last week and my PC, TV and games console shut down immediately, so I had to talk to my family for a few hours. They seem like nice people.
I just decorated my bedroom to look like my desk at work so I can fall sleep faster.
You can learn a lot from a person especially when you watch them through high powered binoculars, I`m just saying.
The most difficult part about taking a personality test is deciding which personality should take it.
Pretty sure I look forward to my boss` vacation`s more than he does.
If you are going to call the cops every time you spot me in your bushes I don`t think this relationship is going to work.
The guy who wrote the program that estimates how much time is left on a download did not take his job seriously at all.
Being fabulous all day makes me really, really tired
There was no bonus fry at the bottom of the bag. But the story has a happy ending. I found it later in my sports bra.
Babies dont have parents, they have staff.
I`ve just been watching a documentary on marijuana...... I think all documentaries should be watched this way.