Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The moment you stop giving a damn is the moment things get easier and better.
I like to dump Skittles in the toilet and then flush it because it looks like a little tiny NASCAR race.
When listening to skinny girls talk about losing weight it`s perfectly reasonable to battle cry then karate chop their tiny stomach`s.
Inside me is a skinny person screaming to get out. But he shuts up when I eat cake.
Personality is 40% genetics, 40% upbringing, and 20% the last movie you watched.
When does paying taxes get shut down? Asking for everyone with a job.
just watched my first full episode of jersey shore... #ashamed of new entertainment
Experience is what you get, when you don`t get what you want
The girls who don’t get a rose on The Bachelor should automatically get a cat.
I`d care more about your feelings if they came with a toy and chicken nuggets.
Bran flakes. Helping pants fit better for over 100 years.
My new credit card has this awesome theft protection where it just says "declined" whenever you use it.
If I ever go missing and there’s a big search party out looking for me, you can save time by not looking at any gyms.
I hate it when I open Facebook and miss a week of work.
I don`t like people who hate certain group of people. But I get along very well with people who hate everybody equally.