Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just can`t help it ... Sarcastic bitch is built-in.
Does ke$ha go by k€sha in Europe?
If you raise your children, you spoil your grandkids. If you spoil your children, you raise your grandkids.
The beauty of vodka is that it looks like water. The beauty of the workplace is that water bottles are allowed.
My hatred for Nicki Minaj probably stems from my fear of clowns.
Decisions decisions ... Guess I`ll drink on it.
went to vegas: put a coin in the machine and a prize came out, put another coin and another prize came out...problem is i don`t know what to do with all these empty cans now.
Last night I got drunk and ate 3 tennis balls by mistake, f*ck you Pringle`s.
I don`t always say `oops`, but when I do, it`s usually ten minutes after I have a brilliant idea.
Is there a phobia for leaving the house when your phone isn`t fully charged? There should be.
If you`re wondering why you`re single, date someone. You`ll remember
Pregnancy test confirmed me my worst fear.......I`m just fat
If you were dating an FBI agent and you broke up, they would be your fed ex.
:): The Bipolar smiley face
I can do 50-100 pushups depending on how many weeks you give me.