Daily Silly Status

If you`re a vegan an atheist and a liberal, how do you choose which way to annoy people at Thanksgiving first?

Its that time of year to find out what your friends with pools have been up to since last year.

Don`t worry about old age, it doesn`t last that long.

I’m bored enough to clean.

If you’re gonna keep being so attractive, I’m gonna need you to make out with me.

Unless you fell off the treadmill and smashed your face, nobody wants to hear about your workout.

This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness....NO WE WON`T!!

You know you`re fat when you run out of breath eating.

Help keep America beautiful. Stay in your house today.

If being lazy paid, damn dude I must be a billionaire.

I found a real money maker in selling homing pigeons....... So far this month I sold mine 4 times.

Retirement plans compared .. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000. With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left. If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left. But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for recycl

I’m not single and I’m not committed… I’m simply on reserve for the one who deserves…

If you can`t tell the difference between delivery and Digiorno then you`re a f***ing idiot.

If you like to spoon, you`ll love to spatula. That`s where I flip you over to make certain you`re done properly on both sides.