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How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
I hate crickets in my house.....except for the one I just killed. He seems ok.
I have a coffee table in my house. It`s decaffeinated but you would never know it by looking at it.
If cartoons are a reliable guide, the secret to never aging is wearing the same clothes every day.
Happy Wednesday 2014 Everyone!
Everything I ever needed to know about structural engineering, I learned from Angry Birds.
I`ll do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can`t live without
If thought bubbles appeared over our heads, I would get punched in the face a lot more.
My theory: Every squirrel you see is currently on a dare from another squirrel
I can’t afford Disney World so we go to the biggest hill on my street and my kids wait an hour before I roll them down in my office chair.
No, I did not forget my password. I distinctly remember it being 8 asterisks.
“Star Wars” fans are very upset that the story line of the upcoming new “Star Wars” movie has been leaked. Apparently the movie starts with R2-D2, Chewbacca, and Han
Volleyball = A more intense version of don`t let the balloon hit the floor.
my girlfriend asked me to go to the store and pick her up 50 shades of grey, she was pretty mad when i brought home 50 tubes of lipstick.