Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Of all the things I have lost in life I mis my mind the most
I bet Waldo’s parents are worried sick.
Whenever someone tells me they like country music, I just look them in the eyes and ask "which country?"
Jealously is something you’re good at when you suck at everything else.
Watching someone else play a video game is like watching someone who won`t let you join in while they`re masturbating.
If you see me talking to myself don`t be alarmed. I`m getting expert advice.
So I just saw a donkey crossing the road. The cool thing was he looked both ways before crossing. What a smart a$$.
Statistics show that 3 out of 5 people.. aren`t the other 2.
I always say, "monring" instead of "good morning" because if it was a good morning, I`d still be in bed sleeping.
You know what bothers me? When people assume you`re homeless cause you`re asleep on the street and your pants are gone..
Sobriety and I have agreed to see other people today
Over the weekend I pulled a muscle getting off the couch to fetch more Doritos.
My head hurts, I think my horns are coming in...
This is the only way I know how to correctly use a semi-colon ;)
I give up on life! I have better luck playing Monopoly...or Clue...