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Insomnia is very common. Try not to lose any sleep over it.
The best neighbors are the ones you never see.
In honor of St. Patrick`s Day, I`m going to create a hybrid of a four leaf clover and poison ivy and give myself a rash of good luck
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you`re signing a cast.
The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it`s like excuse me, I`m working here.
Blessed are they who can just read it and move on.
For the first time in my years of working I have been hard at work all day......dammm those pills!!!!
"Rise and shine” is probably the most depressing thing a shoeshiner hears in the morning.
drink beer ?? save water
When I was a kid, I wanted to be an adult. So yeah...kids are stupid.
I found my first grey pubic hair today. Normally things like this don`t bother me, but it was in my Big Mac.
Keep reaching for the stars but get a better deodorant.
is experiencing life at a rate of several wtf´s a minute
Drink coffee! ... Do stupid things faster with more energy.
The problem with reality is that there’s no background music, so you never really know whether something mysterious, evil or adventurous is about to happen.