Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sadly no matter how hard you try, you can`t mail a fart. Too bad though, because this would actually make paying Bills a lot more fun.
Apparently, starting an impromptu game of leap frog with somebody bending over to tie their shoe is considered rude. Church is boring.
Of course women dont fart. They never shut up long enough to build up pressure
This rough sex would have been a lot better if I wasn`t alone.
In my porno they`d deliver the pizza after they had sex because otherwise it`d just get cold.
Instead of the John, I call my bathroom the Jim...that way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim every morning.
I was watching craps at the casino all night until security finally dragged me out of the bathroom.
I`ve been around the block a few times, but then my neighbor realized I was drunk and helped me into my house.
The art of taking a self pic fast enough that no one sees you. The Stealthfie.
Is it just me, or is Fantasy Football basically Dungeons & Dragons for jocks?
I`d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
The worst part of Aquaman`s day has to be, when he has to kill time on land for half an hour after eating a meal.
Sooooo, ..a friend of mine was watching my dog lick herself in a certain area. Out of nowhere he says, "I wish I could do that." ...I said, "Go ahead, but she might bite."...
Whenever I hear someone say “STOP” my brain says “Hammer Time”
I`d save a lot more money on car insurance if they quit spending billions on advertising.