Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"I don`t know what the f*ck this tastes like." - first person to eat chicken.
Life can be like Chess sometimes. I don`t know how to play Chess.
It only takes a second to show a person how much you feel about them. The police call it indecent exposure, but whatever...
I`m here to pick you up when you fall. Whether I tripped you is another thing...
I`m gonna open a bar and name it Rehab.....
Today I discovered that two wrongs definitely don`t make a right. Tomorrow I`m going to try three.
People treat New Year’s like some sort of life changing event. If your life sucks today, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow
...you ever ponder why that page was intentionally left blank?
Strangers are like birds. If you run at them screaming and waving your arms they will run away.
Often, when I am reading a good book I stop and thank my teacher. Well, I used to. Until she got that restraining order.
Do whatever you want, and if it`s something you`re going to regret in the morning, sleep late.
I have no idea how I use to get around in the dark before I had a cell phone.
FYI, Target does not give prizes, no matter how many bullseyes you hit in the store with a paintball gun
Am I the only one who closes the silverware drawer with an epic pelvic thrust?
We’ve solved so many world problems, and yet chocolate still has calories.