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Eggnog is perfect for when you feel like drinking a glass of pancake batter.
I`m pretty sure if I put what was actually on my mind as my Facebook status, all my friends would delete me.
Would a transformer buy life insurance or car insurance?
Lazy Fact #69302246777573 - You were too lazy to read that number.
My favorite part of the movie The Notebook is where I turned it off and watched Terminator 2 instead.
Facebook is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves.
We have GPS that can navigate you across the country. Why can`t someone invent a device that can remind you why you went into a room?
As soon as I figure out who drank my 2 cases of beer, I`m gonna try to figure out why I`m so drunk.
I remember when downloading a song meant trying to tape it off the radio while hoping the DJ didn´t talk over the song.
"I get knocked down, but I get up again, You`re never gonna keep me down" ~Bowling pins
When someone yells stop, I don`t know if it`s in the name of love, it`s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.
If God didn`t want us to eat Animals he wouldn`t made them out of meat.
I like to reward myself for getting up on time by laying in bed for another 20 minutes.
Apparently, "I Know" is not a good answer when your friend tells you how good his girlfriend is in bed.
My desire to be well informed is currently in deep conflict with my need to stay sane.