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I`m sorry did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
It`s a good thing farting isn`t as contagious as yawning.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Does anyone know how much water I`m supposed to add to this baby powder, to make an infant?
I start to feel really anxious when my work piles up. I never know what to ignore first.
I just read the words "untimely death" and thought, "Man, I hope my death is timely."
Amazing how many people just stroll into tattoo parlors and say "Give me the dumbest thing you can think of."
I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven`t pooped it out yet ... Really scared now!
Is it just me or do mirrors look really sexy?
If people listened to themselves more often, they would talk less.
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it`s up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with!!
My advise to all the young people out there, "Do not grow up; it`s a trap!!"
Coca Cola: Because drinking black water seems like a solid life choice.
People says nothing is imposible.. But i do nothing everyday!!
Oh really? It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown? How many muscles does it take to mind your own business