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How weird was the first robber to wear pantyhose on his face
There`s no life problem that a good "F*ck this shit" can`t solve.
Yeah, you go ahead and climb that mountain "because it`s there", I am going to eat this Pizza "because it`s here"................................
Bitch Iām not insulting you, Iām describing you.
The real reason the Mayan civilization collapsed is they never updated their Adobe.
If you like to listen to music while having sex, listen to a live album. That way you will get an applause every 3-4 minutes.
I don`t like Instagram. It reminds me that somewhere people are doing stuff. I just don`t need that kind of pressure.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions Note to self...avoid good intentions at all costs.
I do marathons ... on Netflix.
Not remembering where I set my drink down must be the same feeling parents have when they lose their four year old at the mall.
I remember when going viral meant having to tell several people they better get tested.
Overwhelming scientific evidence suggests a startling number of people are capable of ignoring overwhelming scientific evidence.
There could be literally thousands of chameleons in your house right now and you don`t even know it.
The best thing about having male genitals is sharing it with people who don`t.
I smiled and waved at my neighbour so I bet the first thing she`ll do today is buy bedroom curtains.