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Detective: “The victim musta had company. There’s 2 dirty plates in the sink.” If I ever get murdered they’ll think I had 16 people over.
Anybody else have that annoying problem of Work and Family interfering with your FaceBook time?
To the woman that won the powerball ... "what`s up baby"
wants to come back as a bird after I die.... just so i can sh!t on the people who piss me off.
After four centuries, the semicolon has finally achieved it`s true calling: helping people wink online.
Do they have to play movies so loud at the theatre? I litterally have to scream into my phone.
I`m not the type of person you want to put on speaker during a phone conversation.
I want to follow my dream, but i dont want to look like a stalker
Dear Dr Phil, I was watching my next door neighbor`s wife sunbathing topless from my bedroom window. As I was enjoying myself I turned to notice my lady was just standing there, arms folded...watching me. Is she a pervert?
The police are taking me downtown for an interview and I didn`t even apply for the job.
I`m Not Perfect. Your Not Perfect. But Together We Can Be a Perfect Sense of Humor LOL!
"It`s not about who`s right or wrong."~ The person that is wrong
Does swimming in debt count as cardio?
The only rule of the Chess Club is to hide from the Fight Club.
Occasionally, I like to take a look through my old status updates and smile at my sparkling wit.