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We`ve all been talking about your paranoia.
In post apocalyptic movies everyone wears leather ... but there are no cows.
Why periods? Why can`t Mother Nature just text me and be like, "Whaddup Girl?, You ain`t pregnant. Have a great week. Talk to ya next month."
My worst fear is seeing one of my statuses marked as "exhibit A"
I found $40 in my jeans. The kid in me says "Buy dart guns and candy", but the adult in me says "Buy vodka, dart guns and candy".
Think of me as an idea. A really, really bad idea.
I don`t care what people think of me. It can`t be half as bad as what I think of them...
My neighbors don`t appreciate it when I skip along the property line, singing "This Land is My Land."
If you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin, muffins are healthy :) your welcome.
You never know what you have until..... you clean your room
My favorite beer is an open one.
I started to compliment my neighbors on their new wallpaper but then I realized they can`t hear me through binoculars.
I just don`t understand why Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell car insurance.
Don’t let anybody push you around ... unless you’re in a wagon, cuz that is just plain fun.
have you ever looked at someone and thought, "yeah you definitely have someone locked away in your basement."