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Do you think in the spirit world they have TV shows about trying to make contact with the living?
Age has its advantages. Too bad I can`t remember what they are.
You know what the cheapest meat is? Deer balls ... They`re under a buck
"I wish people would start doing ice bucket challenges again" - said no one ever!
I’m not stealing my neighbor’s WiFi…their WiFi is trespassing into my house.
Life is NOT like a box of chocolates. It`s more like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today, can burn your a$$ tomorrow.
Christmas is just like a day at the office ... You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
It`s not that people use only 10% of their brains, it`s that only 10% of people use their brains.
Nothing is better than seeing your ex with someone uglier than you!
There are people on Facebook who don`t realize the difference between "What`s on your mind" or "I should talk to a therapist about this"
I just "borrowed" my neighbors nissan frontier, they make that trick look easier on the commercial
tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes
Irresponsible is when your neighbor doesn`t pay their wifi bill.
I like my coffee like I like my men: caffeinated, made of beans, muscular, tousled hair, you know what, I don`t really know how to do this..
It`s acceptable for someone to eat cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner as long as they still go to the gym, right? I`m asking for a friend...