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WebMD needs to add the question "Have you eaten Taco Bell today?" when asking about stomach-related symptoms.
The symptoms of Ebola are sweating, weakness, diarrhoea and stomach pains. Kind of like when I see my wife going thru my phone.
I wonder if the Ziploc bag company secretly lobbies to keep marijuana illegal.
Guys if a woman shaves hers legs she wants you to touch them..... You just have to make sure she knows You.
Trying to achieve the perfect erection. How hard could it be?
Common sense is so rare it should be classified as a super power
You are not a "Food Blogger", you`re a "Fat a$$ with a laptop"
People who describe things as "better than sex" are obviously having the wrong kind of sex.
If it wasn`t for pizza delivery, you wouldn`t see me shoveling a walkway.
If a gay guy doesn`t write a book called "Fifty Shades of Haaaaaayyy" I`ll be disappointed.
I’m not surprised you’re having problems I had a bad experience with your reality once too.
It’s not weird to talk to yourself, it’s just weird when someone else hears you talking to yourself.
I have decided to follow my dreams.....starting with that one where I am naked at work.
Life is like a burrito. If you fill it with too many things it falls apart and then you cry and they kick you out of Chipotle.
When 12 year old girls call each other honey and sweet heart...