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Today I gave up procrastination for Lent.
It`s Monday. I`m refreshed and ready to hate my Job
I`m well on my way to getting absolutely nothing done today.
This morning I woke up to a surprise BJ. Thats the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open.
Does all this status updating make my ego look fat?
Life gets expensive when you trust a cute woman.
MAY` contain nudity? Either it does or it doesn`t. DON`T WASTE MY TIME
My Ex updated her status to "standing on the edge of a cliff" So I "poked" her!
me + you = overpopulation... :) :p
After I clear my browser history I do a quick google search for things like "feeding the hungry" and "How to thank a loving wife"
My dad always used to say, "The sky`s the limit!" Which is probably why he got fired from his job at NASA.
If Starbucks delivered, I would be a morning person.
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed. And it was great
Note to future self: Tequila is a liar. You do not sound exactly like Axl Rose & the people at karaoke will not catch you if you stage dive
COCKADOODLEDOOOOOO!!!!