Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If someday we all go to prison for downloading Movies and TV shows, I just hope they split us up by genre.
I don`t want to be bothered with stupid $h!t today. What is stupid $h!t? Anything I don`t want to be bothered with.
Patience is not about how long you can wait, but how well you behave while waiting.
All this time I thought PTA stood for Parents to Avoid
Reminiscing isn’t as fun as it used to be.
You know you`re getting old when bending over is a one-way trip.
I have an alcohol problem, in that I can`t afford any.
Seems like we would be just fine with about half as many types of pasta
If you pour two beers in one glass, it`s just one beer.
Sometimes my sarcasm is so intense that even I’m not sure if I’m kidding or not.
"Please take a seat" was a bad introduction for a Kleptomaniacs` Anonymous meeting.
Back in my day it was called daydreaming…not ADHD.
Self checkout must have been invented by a guy who had to buy tampons.
LIFE HACK: Sneak into doctor`s waiting rooms instead of subscribing to magazines.
So apparently I`ve been Googling `Asian Prom` this whole time. I watched like seven videos before I realized they weren`t going to bang.