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That`s not how I met your mother.
Can Walmart be a feeling? I`m pretty sure that`s how I`m feeling today.
How do amish girls know if its a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular candle lit dinner.
I`m always amazed that when tragedy strikes how quickly people on Facebook become experts on the subject no matter what it is.
Stupid people who suddenly make a smart decision have no idea how confusing that is for the rest of us.
Apparently, I just ate 39 servings of Tic - Tacs.
why do people with bad teeth always have a smile on there face
I`m starting to think that Dr. Dre isn`t a real doctor after all...
The worst walk of shame is the one back onto the crowded elevator after getting out on the wrong floor.
I`m confused by this "It`s 5 o`clock somewhere" statement. Bars open at 11. Idiots.
When my girlfriend texted me "I`m enjoying 5 guys in bed" I was quite surprised to arrive and find no hamburgers
You think having periods is hard? ... Try being on a 24 hour killstreak on Call of Duty with itchy balls.
Celebrate Valentines Day responsibly, or you`ll be celebrating Thanksgiving in a maternity ward
A fine is a tax for doing wrong...and a Tax is a fine for doing well
You know you`ve reached adulthood when your bed is in the middle of the wall instead of in the corner.