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LISTEN: It was sweet of you to suck the venom out of my snake bite, but if you really loved me... you would have swallowed.
Simmer down joggers running in place at a stop light, simmer down.
My death bed confession is going to be epic!
I beat my chess opponent in less than five moves with the chair I was sitting on!
I either get what I want or I change my mind!
*breaking news music plays* Last thought of the night: Why is now everyone talkin` bout "twerkin`"? Man, that shyt been `round since the days of Hammer pants and spandex shorts!!!!
My buddy asked me the other night if he could crash on my couch. I had to explain to him that I`m married now and that`s where I sleep.
I`d like to eat healthy, but we all know what happened that time Eve ate an apple. Best not to risk it.
Have you guys seen the new documentary about white trash? I only saw the trailer.
How come there`s never enough dirt to refill the hole even after you`ve put the body in? Asking for a friend
Legally, it`s questionable .. Morally, it`s disgusting .. Personally, I love it. ;)
I do not argue, I explain why Iām right.
Breaking news: Newt saw his shadow. Six more weeks of campaigning and attack ads.
I love all religions. They bring holidays .
All cookies are "bite size" if you believe in yourself enough.