Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
French people give me the crepes.
Grab the bull by the horns. The other end is too gross...
You, my friend, deserve a high-five... that’s four more fingers than I normally give.
No body on there deathbed said I wish I had spent more time at work
Sometimes I wish I could officially change "Hump Day" into "Smack-A-Dumb-Bitch-In-The-Face" Day.
My internet went down. By which I mean my neighbors changed their password.
We’ll be best friends forever because you already know too much.
Don’t jump to confusions.
The pollen is so bad this year that the trailer park people are changing crystal meth back into Sudafed.
I would unblock you but then I`d be admitting I`d made a mistake and that`s just not my thing.
They`ve been farting with my facebook again. It`s like the old days when the the girl you woke up with wasn`t the one you went to bed with.
thinks that life was a lot simpler when I thought girls had cooties, and getting to the bottom of the sandbox was a good day.
That awkward moment when you remember something funny, and can’t stop smiling like an idiot.
I`m in no shape to exercise patience!
The Spanish version of the Subway jingle “65.63 Peso 0.3 meter largo” isn’t quite as catchy…