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So if one was to type ‘idiot’ into Google, would your picture come up?
Forget the hero part, I just like the fact that Batman punches clowns.
Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.
No matter how little I do in a day. I always feel like I could have done less.
I`m not everyone`s cup of tea ... I`d rather be someone`s shot of tequila away.
is battling with eyelids
The perfect time for a snack is while you’re waiting for another snack to finish cooking.
My wife keeps leaving magazines lying around with the jewelry ads circled. I got the hint. For Valentine`s Day she’s getting a magazine rack
If you can’t be a good example, then you’l just have to serve as a horrible warning
Would people still go to the gym if Instagram didn`t exist?
We have cars that park themselves but I still gotta wave my hand 15 times before a paper towel comes out the dispenser
Love your enemies; after all, you made them!
Didn`t have to do much to end my last relationship...she first told me that "opposites attract"...then a couple of days later she told me i was handsome, kind, smart, funny and loving...
Some people say I`m a dreamer, others say, “If you fall asleep at work again you`re fired"
Another year has passed. I`ve just about given up on the Mayans.