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If you are offended by the things I post on FB you can only imagine the ones I don`t post.
To those that manufacture and market tight, thin yoga pants to fit college girls; I love you man.
Women need a tattoo that somehow signals their menstrual cycle ... * A Cramp Stamp
Getting married at 22 sounds alot like leaving the party at 9:30
Just once I`d like someone to call me "sir" without having to add "you need to calm down or we`re going to have to ask you to leave"
Nothing says “I hate you” like giving someone’s child a drum set.
Am I the only one who calculates how much sleep I can get before I go to bed?
Helpful Tip : Never ask the cop to hold your beer while you dig out your drivers license.
If you work Security in a Samsung store does that make you a Guardian of the Galaxy?
When someone looks over my shoulder while I`m on the computer, I open up a new tab and start searching, "HOW TO KILL THE PERSON BEHIND ME."
Hi everyone! Welcome to AA. This is a "judgment free" zone...unless we`re talking about Janice who ate all the cookies last week.
Sooooo, ..a friend of mine was watching my dog lick herself in a certain area. Out of nowhere he says, "I wish I could do that." ...I said, "Go ahead, but she might bite."...
90% of being a dad is yelling about doors being left open while the air conditioning is running.
Those 5 donuts I ate are really going to give me an extra boost during my workout today.
Gardening is awesome because it is one of the only ways a normal person can be persuaded into buying actual bags of poop.