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I think I`m gonna shave my legs so that there`s less wind resistance when I run to the fridge for a beer.
I saw that! - Karma
My husband has a blanket pulled up over his face. I think this means he wants me to talk to him.
Recipes sound good until you realize that you don`t have $846 worth of spices in your house.
Commercials led me to believe that changing shampoos would have a much bigger effect on my life.
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house...
Not to brag but when I push it, I push it real good.
Wow, I thought “flash mob” meant something completely different. Can someone come bail me out?
My religious preference, is for you to steer clear of me with yours.
I can`t believe we made a movie that is essentially giving the apes a blueprint on how to take over the Earth.
My bank lets me send a text message and it will text back with my balance. Its a cool feature but I didn`t think the LOL was necessary.
My house has really let itself go.
Patiently waiting for the Prozac to kick in so I can start my day....Ok, Maybe NOT patiently!
Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear... "Monday has been canceled, go back to sleep."
Scariest Moment: Flushing the toilet at someone else’s house, and seeing the water rise…