Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Nothing is as scary as logging into Facebook and seeing someone you were secretly with last night has uploaded a new album.
If you think this status is funny someone you hate will step on a lego.
Just tried to pay for my McDonalds with a hug, it didn`t work. Don`t believe the rumors.
When they say: "Wow, you`re really photogenic." What they mean: "Wow, this looks nothing like how ugly you actually are."
I’ve been in this McDonald’s restroom for over an hour, waiting for an employee to wash my hands.
I`m not saying I have a questionable work ethic, but I just got called lazy by a guy wearing velcro shoes.
Never cry over spilt milk. It could`ve been whiskey.
I`m getting older but I still have my moments...though I don`t always remember where I put them
For those who know nothing of how to satisfy a woman: The G spot is located at the end of the word shopping.
For those of you who know nothing about pleasing a woman... the G spot is located at the end of the word "shopping".....js
500 recipes pinned to my Pinterest board. Eating a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.
"Are you completely sure this isn`t textable?" - the perfect voicemail prompt
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
A stress ball, made of concrete, and to throw at the person who`s stressing you out.
I have two words for this week. BEER ME!!!