Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve opened the refrigerator and thought, What am I doing inside the refrigerator?
*Me washing my car* Person: Hey what’s up? Washing your car? Me: No, I’m watering it to see if it’ll grow into a bus.
I have many thoughts. I just can´t remember any of them.
I`m not the type of person you should put on speaker phone
I didn`t see anyone important yesterday, so I`ll probably wear these same clothes today.
I put the "fun" in "functioning alcoholic"
Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile ?
Sometimes I think these Kardashians are just doing stuff for the attention.
There`s no rehab for stupid! ;P
People are so predictable..I bet you`re even reading this status right now.
I always like seeing those "Baby on Board" stickers because it`s nice to see agreeable babies out there.
My wife told me to get a real job or pack my bags! She must be losing it! Who threatens someone with a vacation?
Don’t get me started. I don’t come with brakes.
Redneck WORD OF THE DAY: WATER My girlfriend gets mad and I don`t even know water problem is!
You know you`re a mom when someone says they have a stomach ache and you ask if they pooped today.