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I`ve done a lot of things over the years ... But acting normal has never been one of them.
Last year in college football Alabama beat Arkansas, Tennessee, and Auburn. Those teams coaches all resigned. Any chance of Alabama playing agsinst the White House this year?
It takes balls to be a man.
I bet Snowmen think it`s weird that the ground is completely covered in their skin.
Relationship status – table for one but drinks for two.
Even this posting will offend some people, hopefully.
Raise your hand if you have already spent your daylight savings
Why don`t strip clubs do Black Friday? It would be the one place I would camp out to go in.
The problem with alcohol is that... it wears off.
The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.
What`s the point of blurring out the middle finger on TV, like oh you`ve fooled me, what`s behind that blur? Is it a monkey? A pencil?
Never look directly at the people having a sizzling plate of fajitas delivered to their table... It’s what they want.
If I was on drugs, this post would be amazing.
All my dance moves look like i`m trying to tell the guy on first base to steal second
B is the best letter of the alphabet: Boobs, Buns, Booty, Booze, Beer, Bourbon, and Bacon.