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“Wow! My political opinion just changed because of what you posted on Facebook” – said no one ever.
Netflix is raising rates again? Man, whoever`s password I`m using has got to be pissed!
I want someone to look at me the way I look at the waiter when he brings my meal.
Dog Found: Now we are bros, so he`s staying. Don`t call, don`t make it weird.
Did you ever notice how a woman’s “I’ll be ready in 5min” and a guys “I’ll be home in 5min” are one and the same?
Psychology — Even trying to spell it correctly screws with your head.
sometimes... late at night... i rearrange traffic signs. people need to be challenged.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually dont have one
Don`t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
Alex, I`ll take WTF for a $1000
Why do we feel safe under blankets? It`s not like a murderer will come in thinking "I`m gonna ki..- ahh damn! He`s under a blanket
Started working on my taxes today and learned why the form is called 1040. For every $50 I make, I get $10 and the gov`t gets $40...
Apparently a teen in Brazil died after jerking off 42 times without stopping. So incase you were wondering. ...41, guys,...that`s the limit.
It`s always quiet on here at the weekends, it`s like you people have lives or something...
I`m not funny, I`m just kidding u