Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider doing it.
ALCOHOL! Giving you the ambition to do anything, while simultaneously taking away your capability to do so.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
I`m going to test my theory that tequila kills the flu... Or brain cells... Whatever, doesn`t matter... something`s gonna die tonight.
Of course you look good; I don`t have ugly friends.
One out of every 4 Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they´re okay, then it´s you.
Just saw a coyote next to the highway. I hope this tunnel ahead isn`t just painted on.
Lame! I was tricked into watching PS, I Love You! It`s definitely NOT about a guy that marries his PlayStation.
You know it`s a really good bar when there`s a couple outside breaking up.
Dear Vegetarians, Thanks for saving the good food for us.
My brain has too many tabs open.
Here`s to all the kids who have never found their name on anything in a souvenir store
Immature: A word boring people use to describe fun people.
The boss keeps talking about a company 401k … I don’t think I can run that far!
The sad part about seeing any shopper at Walmart with a blue tooth, is that normally it is that shopper`s only tooth.